So my mum always encouraged me to be nice when I was a kid so I tend to talk to everyone ~ especially if the person looks like they might be lonely or maybe sick. This happens a lot, in bars, I’ve noticed. Been in bars with my parents plenty, when I was younger and always spoke to the one guy who seemed like his luck had run out. Mum and Dad seemed to befriend those people. Not in a huge way. But it happened. My Dad always ~~so aware of that kind of trouble.
Trouble is, you have to be careful. thus this blog.
Sometime ago in an Austin bar, I sat beside a guy with food stains on his white shirt that he continued to wear all week. He looked down and out to me; and lonely. We were having a great time in Austin. I had never been, and the music scene was pretty awesome.
I turned to David (the guy in the food stained shirt) and said, “Hey, how are you doing. Are you having a good time?” I really meant, “Are you o.k.” He didn’t look ok.
So yes , I get it, when perhaps a woman like me, might be terribly annoying with my white privilege, and middle class ways and then asking intrusive questions. I guess I learned empathy at a very young age and it is not put on. I leaned into him and probably touched his arm.
He later told me that when I sat beside him and started to talk he thought to himself, “Oh my god, another “yuppie”.” I think that’s what he thought. Suffice it to say that he was not impressed and in fact was a little rude.
Nevertheless, we ended up spending the entire week with David Werner, drinking martinis and going from bar to bar listening to Austin music. He invited us down to St. Augustine and told us lots of stories. Some of which I did not believe at all….until he gave us a couple of books he had written. Even then I was forever the doubter (change this word) because even though it’s ok to be friendly; it’s stupid to be naive. Mum taught me that.
So tonight at “Pirates” in San Jose, Costa Rica while watching the football game…same type of thing happened. You know the scenario ~ sad looking, older guy with not a lick of hope sitting at the bar; while I am talking to the waitress and ordering drinks. The difference was that during conversation it became clear to me that he was actually a big businessman who was taking advantage of migrant and poor workers in Nicaragua – holy shit. I couldn’t believe it. We wonder why the world is in such disarray and then you talk to a man who prefers to leave one country where he is paying $2.60 an hour and goes to a poorer country so he can pay .60 cents an hour!!!! OMG. And Fox News wonders why Women are Marching in Every City in North America??
this is stream of consciousness writing. might make no sense. maybe that ‘s the way i like it. life. no sense. memories. misty you meet a person do you trust the story or can you realize the truth
there in an uncertain place do you trust? You do not trust. And then you form a punk band demanding to be heard, or you write Zimbabwean poetry, write a poem that is never read or a book that makes the a list, a song nobody hears, a poem read for years.
Kathryn Kastner 